Posts Tagged ‘Mind set’

LFT stands for Low Frustration Tolerance.

Clinical psychologist Albert Ellis described it as ‘can’t standitis’  because people who suffer from it are often heard complaining ”I can’t stand this or that”.

If you are a person who thinks things ‘should‘ be a certain way or that people ‘should‘ behave a certain way then you are probably are sufferer of LFT to some degree.
The normal frustrations of day to day life most likely agitate you a great deal which only heightens your stress levels and further lowers your tolerance.
A downward spiral on the best of days.

What to do?

Think good things. Challenge your thoughts. Step up to the LFT monster!
Remind yourself that everyone has to endure inconveniences and frustrations and that sometimes things don’t go the way we would like them to. 
Self discipline is required here.
Self discipline is what you will become better at when you commit to self care.

So, again my friend, the mantra reigns supreme: exercise, eat well & think good things and tell the LFT monster to go jump because you just won’t ‘tolerate’ it any more!

More on this topic can be found in Dr Sarah Edelman’s book ‘Change Your Thinking’ published by ABC Books or for more personal support, book in with me and we’ll face it together.

One other thing: I’ve been doing the blogging thing for about 6 months now and I would love to keep doing it and would love it to grow and grow and grow so if you do like it can you please  A) subscribe and B) recommend it to you everyone you know (especially people in high places in the media!)

Thanks, hugs and smiles
Jo

You can have what you want if you are tenacious.
You can be what you want if you commit to thinking the thoughts that will make you that way.
You can do what you want if you follow the right path. 

OR you can just stay exactly as you are; not growing or changing, not learning or risking, not engaging or exploring, not loving or sharing.

This may seem easier (and safer) but it’s probably not going to make you smile much and honestly, your life should be worth smiling about. 
So, be courageous and go for the lot.
Teeny weeny steps is all it takes to start. 
Remember that every person you admire took baby steps to achieve great things. 
Small steps, good strong positive tenacious thoughts AND, of course regular exercise and good nutrition.
Everyday.

Go forth with confidence my friend, you’ll feel your smile instantly widen.

Want to slow down your ageing process?
Me too, I can’t possibly fit in everything I want to do in 40 or so years.

Alas, I have a plan and I’m happy to report it’s working!

It’s a simple thing really, nothing miraculous or new.
I’m not a modern genius with a grand discovery nor am I going to tell you about some magic pill, cream or tonic.

It’s all about how you live each day.
It’s all about exercising regularly, eating nutritiously, getting enough sleep, thinking good things, drinking water, being grateful, being generous, being kind, being tolerant, seeking the good, connecting with people, making an effort, having a ball, accepting hardship, asking for a hug, learning new stuff, truly relaxing and loving thyself  – wholeheartedly. 

Now, I appreciate that you have probably read or heard this before but are you actually doing any of it?

Knowing this stuff will not help you one iota my friend.
The proof and indeed the reward is in the doing.

That’s what my job is all about.
Helping people to do what they know they need to do.
On a deeper level my job is to move them from a ’should’ mind set to a ‘want‘ mind set – permanently. 

Your job is merely to know where your mind is set and if it needs shifting do something about that.
Support is always a good idea if you’re track record at behavioural change is poor. 
Health Coaching with Jo Woods is always an option!

The Nutshell:
Slowing down the ageing process requires self care on all levels.
This doesn’t mean you need to have less fun, on the contrary, you’ll most likely have more because you’ll feel better, happier – more youthful. 

Carpe diem!

Are you thinking you could or are you thinking you will?
Are you thinking I can’t or are you thinking I can?
Are you thinking it’s a long shot or are you thinking it’s within reach?
Are you thinking it won’t work or are you thinking it will?
Are you thinking the answer will be no or are you thinking it will be yes?
Are you thinking you the worst or are you thinking you the best?
Are you thinking failure or are you thinking success?

Are you thinking good things?

If not, I highly recommend you do because you’ll be more likely to achieve outcomes you’re wanting and you’ll enjoy the process of getting there so much more too.

Need a ‘postivity make-over’?
Check out the book called ‘Positivity’ in the ‘Smiler’s Amazon carousel – it will help OR I can !

Smiler’s Snippets are short punchy grabs I select from books which aim to enhance your health and happiness.

This is a snippet from Andrew Zuckerman’s fabulous book, ‘Wisdom’. Here I read a snippet from Graeme Nash’s page about keeping things in perspective. If you’d like a copy of the book just go to Smiler’s Amazon, just to the right and click on the book cover, that will take you straight through to Amazon.

If you feel you need a hand getting things in to perspective you can email me jo@urbansmiler.com or ring me on 0412 329 511. Click play now.

If you can’t see the clip click here

Here’s a list of virtues I believe cultivate the life of a ’Smiler’.
May you cultivate such a life yourself and may you always look as happy as the two friends above!
  

1. Exercise. Do something everyday to maintain physical strength, mental clarity and a positive spirit and notice how much more you smile!  

2. Eat Well. Enjoy a balanced diet, no restrictions. Everything in moderation is the best approach, life is too short to miss out on things that make you smile. 

3. Think Good Things. A Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) is essential to being a Smiler. Apply it to everything and everyone. Life is full of inconveniences and disappointments BUT it’s also full of opportunities and blessings. It’s all in your attitude …are you a Frowner or a Smiler? 

4. Discover P & M. Everything you do has a purpose, when you determine the purpose of a task it will automatically add meaning. For instance, the purpose of having a workout is to maintain your health which is what enables you to do, have and be all that you want which is what keeps you smiling. On a more mundane level, the purpose of domestic duties is to keep everything clean and in its place which means a more enjoyable and relaxing place for everyone living there. Harmony at home is a wonderful thing. 

5. Be a Realist: There are no quick fixes to health, wealth, weight losss or happiness. Don’t get sucked in – it’s almost a given that you’ll end up in worse condition than when you started – particularly mentally and emotionally. These things are all step by step, day by day projects which require equal measures of focus, persistence and PMA accompanied by a pocket full of smiles!  

6. Accountability. Looking for excuses and reasons as to why things aren’t as they ‘could/should’ be?  Look inside not out, that’s where the answers are. Do this and I promise you’ll smile more. 

7.  Health.  Your health – mental, physical and emotional - is your number 1 priority. Without it you’re no good to anyone or anything. Invest in it daily and you’ll smile more, inside and out. 

8. The 3 R’s  
Relationships. Manage them with love, tolerance and compassion. Everyone has flaws, you can either frown at them or smile at them. 
Relaxation:  Learn what it feels like to really relax. Sit quietly and just breath, it’s more enjyable than you think and more rewarding than you can imagine. It makes you smile on the inside.
Read:  Keep your mind active – read often and learn stuff. Your brain will smile more. 

9. Nurture yourself
Too many people make the mistake of relying on their partner, family and friends to meet all their needs. This is nor reasonable or wise. Firstly because it’s not their job and secondly because your self esteem needs you to do it; self reliance = self confidence = self esteem=self care etc…You need to learn how to meet your own needs, nurture your own dreams and to genereally make yourself smile, inside and out.  

10. Smile.  It seems that the older we get the more serious we become. Of course there are more responsibilities and life does get a bit more complicated as we get older but that should not stop us from smiling (see #4). Do things which make you smile and laugh, hang out with people who make you smile and laugh and when neither seems accessible take a moment to reflect on all the times you’ve had which made you smile or laugh your head off.   

Want to implement some of this stuff? That’s what I do – I cultivate Smilers! 
Email me anytime:  jo@urbansmiler.com 

Stay well hyrdrated throughout the festive season!

This time of year is challenging for many people on many levels.
The pressure to do everything and see everyone before the year is out can be overwhelming.
For loads of people there is an emotional stirring that starts around this time and continues to build right up until ’the day you’re supposed to be with your family/loved ones’ finally arrives.   
Financial stress, realitonship stress, work stress and emotional stress are all highlighted at this time of year but have no fear – there is a really simple way to manage it all.

The mantra. Exercise, eat well and think good things. It helps. I promise it helps.
Say it to yourself, apply it daily and notice how the heat you usually feel from the crazy season is no where near as fierce.

I know you have lunches and dinners and drinks and deadlines but if you keep your mind on the mantra you’ll manage it all with a smile.

EXERCISE:
Go for lots of little walks and filter out the pressures buzzing around your head.
Breath deeply when you walk to release tension.
Block out time for at least one decent workout session to get the endorphins flowing and keep your self esteem in tact.
If at home watching TV lie on the floor and stretch  – check out my 5 minute back care & stretching clip 

EAT WELL:
Keep up your fruit and vegetable intake and drinks heaps of water.
When out at functions use self disipline and refrain from scoffing all the deep fried food.
Too much alcohol over too many days will make you lethargic and cranky. Again, restraint is key.  
Keep the 80/20 rule in mind. ie. You can only over-indulge at 20% of the functions!!

THINK GOOD THINGS:
Think things whcih will keep your energy positive.
Think things which will best serve your health and well-being.
Think things which will best serve your reletionships.
Think things which will best serve your ability to ‘give and receive’ graciously.
Just think good things!

I wish you a very happy, healthy and fun festive season.  

Post Workout Pic
This is Abbe Holmes, she has been working out with me for nearly 7 years!
Abbe is a voice over artist and voice coach.
Her website is www.abbeholmes.com

If you tend to predominately see the negative side of things then you’re a ‘frowner’ and that’s not good – life is much harder and less enjoyable for ’frowners’. You want to be a ’smiler’- someone who looks for the positives in tough times, seeks the good in people and applies compassion and tolerance to the disappointments and frustrations in life. I used to be a ‘frowner’, it wasn’t a very happy life. When I realised that I didn’t have to be that way, that I actually was not stuck in the doldrums forever I cried for hours from sheer relief.

Slowly and steadily I challenged my thinking; my negativity, my cynicism and my ‘poor me – lucky them’ mentality. Everyday I got better and better, every day I smiled more and more.
I changed.

Today I coach others to make the same changes. Everyone can change – even the leopard. I agree that the leopard can’t change its spots which is how it looks  – but it can change how it thinks. You can too.

Here is a passage about change from The Dalai Lama’s Book of Wisdom 

“According to my experience, it is clear that if an individual makes an effort then he or she can change. Of course, change is not immediate and it takes a lot of time.
In order to change and deal with emotions it is crucial to analyse which thoughts are useful, constructive and of benefit to us. I mean mainly those thoughts which make us calmer, more relaxed and which give us piece of mind versus those thoughts which create uneasiness, fear and frustration.”

In a nutshell:  Think good things and you’re a ’smiler’ .

Everyone talks about trying to achieve balance in their life which is a great aim but because it’s such an elusive concept I often wonder how many people are clear about what it is for them and/or how to maintain it? As the frantic festive season approaches I thought it would be a good time to pen my thoughts on the matter, I hope it’s helpful.

When people talk about trying to live a balanced lifetsyle they’re talking about dividing time and energy as equally as possible between:

• their own health and well-being
• the health and well-being of their dependants
• the health and well-being of and their relationship with their partner/spouse
• their relationships with family & friends 
• the demands of their work, hobbies and various other committments/interests

That’s a lot to balance! 

So what the best way to maintain it?

By listening.

• Listen to your body. It will tell you what it needs > exercise, nutrition, rest, affection
• Listen to your mind. It will tell you what it needs > quite time, social time, intellectual stimulation, a supportive ear. 
• Listen to your self (your ‘Smiler’). It will tell you who or what is most important at the moment > attend to one person or task at a time.

Take Home Message: As long as you ALWAYS put your health and well-being first you’ll be able to maintain balance because this is what enables you to truly listen and therefore make fair and reasonable decisions about everything else.

One Other Thing:  Helping people to learn how to achieve balance (ie. listen to themselves) is what I spend a lot of time working with clients on. It’s an extremely important part of ‘wellbeing’ so if you think you could do with some assistance remember I’m here and I can help.

First things first. In a nutshell, your ‘frowner’ is the negative side of you and your ’smiler’ is the positive side.

In the field of psychology these parts of your psyche are sometimes referred to as weak self/strong self or lower self/ higher self and there are other similar terms but because I like to keep things simple and to a certain extent, ‘visual’, I use frowner & smiler.

Your frowner is the side that doubts, criticizes, blames & whinges. It finds flaws in everything and everyone, is self-defeating and intolerant. It is certainly not the side you want dominating your thoughts. Unfortunately though, the frowner dominates the minds of lots of people which makes life for them and for those around them quite challenging. The really super-duper good news is that no one is stuck being a frowner, it is completely ‘transformable’!

Your smiler on the other hand, is the side that trusts, praises, accepts and gives thanks. It looks for the good in people and situations and is most definitely the side you want in charge of your thoughts. It is not however, bullet-proof,  it can easily be eroded by difficult times and other ‘frowners’ so you do have to keep buffing it. The super-duper good news is that if you’re predominately a smiler you will register the beginnings of erosion very early and you’ll know what to do to prevent it from setting in.

I haven’t come accros a smiler yet who does not occasionally get affected by their frowner, myself included. It requries effort to keep your smiler in charge AND it also requires effort to prevent your frowner from taking charge so now that you know that effort is required either way the only question you have to answer is which side are you going to put effort in to? 

Another no brainer.

May the smiler be with you!