Posts Tagged ‘intimacy’

Not feeling like it huh?

Let me  ask you 3 questions:
1. Are you exercising regularly?
2. Are you eating well? 
3. Are you thinking good things?

No, no and no? Oh no.
Even 1 ‘no’ will be effecting your libido.

The truth is, whilst hormones, stress and relationship issues may be adding to the problem you can’t blame them entirely for your lack of ‘intimacy interest’. This is because if you’re not looking after yourself you’re most likely to be suffering from poor self image/self esteem. Ba – bowww. Low libido.

Regular exercise, a light well balanced diet and some good ole positive thinking will have a HUGE impact on your libido and when that is firing the world is an completly different place (or so it seems!).

So, the plan is: Exercise, eat well, think good things, TV off and early to bed!
If nothing else, you’ll feel healthier and more confident to deal with any other contributing factors. 

PS. This is a very common area of anxiety amongst busy urban people and I am completley comfortable talking about it so don’t hesitate to get in touch if it’s weighing on your mind.

 
Who doesn’t like being touched?

I LOVE it and firmly believe that it is a a vital part of health management. 
During my 6 years of singledom I made sure that I had a massage at least once a fortnight just to meet that need and I encourage all single people to do the same.

When you’re in a relationship skin on skin is more accessible however I appreciate that as time goes on and life gets busier the skin on skin time tends to get put on the back burner. My counsel to you is to see it as a priority, something that will enhance your energy and well-being not to mention fueling your relationship.  

Take Home Message:Whether you are in a relationship or single you need and deserve physical affection. Make it happen.

Ok, settle down…I’m not suggesting people over 40 don’t feel frisky because I’m certain most do most of the time and I’m raucously ‘whoo-hoo-ing’ for them as I write.

This post is for those who might just need a little pep-up in the frisky department, be it now or at some other flat and/or forlorn time of life. 

First, let me give you my definition of frisky;  feeling confident and flirtatious (in a fun way rather than a sexy way) as you engage with people throughout the day, the feeling of bouncing along and smiling at life.

Now, let’s talk strategy in simple terms:-

1. Exercise
If you exercise regularly I PROMISE you will begin to feel the murmur of friskiness. Exercise releases all sorts of lovely endorphins which will switch on the frisky button in your brain. Just like a big swimming pool, it will take a little while to get heat up and must remain switched on for your continued enjoyment.

2. Eat Well
If you eat a fresh light nutritious meal you ‘ll feel fresh, light and probably frisky enough to want to curl up with another human being. On the other hand – if you eat a colourless stodgy meal from a box or packet you feel like curling up with another colourless stodgy meal from a box or packet. Any arguments on this one are most welcome!! 

3. Think Good Things
Think things that serve you well; that keep you exercising and eating well everyday, that keep you believing that you are attractive, smart and lovable, that remind you that everyone has tricky traits and that above all,  that feeling frisky over 40 is all about choice – you can either choose to life a life that will foster friskiness or not…

Don’t miss out my friend, it’s far too much fun!!

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I always feel a bit sad when I hear people (mainly women in long term relationships with children ) say they have lost their libido, they just don’t feel like sex anymore. In most cases, after some discussion it becomes apparent that they are only speaking about the act of sex itself and are completely disregarding the pure joy of intimacy which I truly believe is one of the most emotionally satsfying things we as humans can be a part of.

I am not for one minute saying  that this is easy to achieve and maintain nor am I suggesting that is is a one sided problem because it isn’t. What I’m saying is that I believe it’s important to address issues of sex and intimacy in long term relationships as soon as there’s a problem. Both couples in any long term relationship NEED to experience intimacy. If you don’t have sex, fine, that’s a different thing all together but intimacy is a must, that is what makes your relationship with each other special AND it is also meets a basic human need – to love and feel loved. The good news is that what will probably happen if you make time for intimacy is that you will have more sex and not just more frequently but more enjoyable. Not a bad result for investing a bit of time for a cuddle!

Exercise. Everyday. Go for a walk, ride your bike, go to an exercise class, take up yoga, swim, jog, play badminton, tennis, touch footy, squash, horse riding, triathlons…anything, just do something physical each day.

Eat Well. Eating junk food will not make you feel like taking your clothes off and sharing yourself with someone. It will make you feel like lying on the couch eating more junk and watching a movie about someone who is taking their clothes off and sharing themselves with someone. Eat healthy, fresh & light and your frisky side will soon wake up. 

Think good things.  The way you think about yourself determines how other people think of you. ie. If you don’t  think you are appealing don’t expect anyone else to think you’re appealing, except perhaps for those who think they’re also unappealing which won’t make for a healthy and strong relationship. If you think negatively about yourself it is essential that you take steps to shift this around because self confidence is the most important part of sexuality.

There are professionals who deal with sexual disfunction if that’s an issue but I highly recommend you start with the above. At the very least you’ll feel healthier and happier than you do today and at the very best you’ll be enjoying the most satisfying time of your intimate life. I wish all three things for you.

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I’m very passionate about intimacy, for lots of reasons. “Who isn’t!” you may ask – well lots of people unfortunately and that maybe because they have never really had the opportunity to experience the true beauty of it.

Being intimate with someone who you adore and who adores you back is one of, if not THE most incredible things we humans are privileged to experience. It provides positive energy like nothing else, it enhances self confidence like nothing else, it enlivens the spirit like nothing else and indeed it feeds the soul like nothing else on this earth. Intimacy is the best natural disease prevention, anti-ageing remedy available and it’s free! (remember we’re talking intimacy not just sex).

Intimacy saves lives – I’m sure it does. I’ve read many articles which refer to the healing powers of loving relationships, articles which prove, via statistics, that people who are in healthy intimate relati0nships live longer because they stress less and smile more. That to me is the most undeniable fact about intimacy, it makes you smile more, outside and in. Are you smiling?

The probe:

Are you in a relationship that is lacking in the intimacy department? I encourage you to address it.

Are you single and struggling with wounds from past loves? I urge you to seek help with this.

Are you single and ready for love? Please, get proactive and get out and about – lots! No one is going to knock on your door and ask you out.

And finally, if you are in a healthy intimate relationship – how often do you stop to appriciate how blessed you are?

So blessed!

PS. If bells are ringing for you and you’re not sure how to move forward please know that I’m here to help.