Archive for the ‘Mind set’ Category

LFT stands for Low Frustration Tolerance.

Clinical psychologist Albert Ellis described it as ‘can’t standitis’  because people who suffer from it are often heard complaining ”I can’t stand this or that”.

If you are a person who thinks things ‘should‘ be a certain way or that people ‘should‘ behave a certain way then you are probably are sufferer of LFT to some degree.
The normal frustrations of day to day life most likely agitate you a great deal which only heightens your stress levels and further lowers your tolerance.
A downward spiral on the best of days.

What to do?

Think good things. Challenge your thoughts. Step up to the LFT monster!
Remind yourself that everyone has to endure inconveniences and frustrations and that sometimes things don’t go the way we would like them to. 
Self discipline is required here.
Self discipline is what you will become better at when you commit to self care.

So, again my friend, the mantra reigns supreme: exercise, eat well & think good things and tell the LFT monster to go jump because you just won’t ‘tolerate’ it any more!

More on this topic can be found in Dr Sarah Edelman’s book ‘Change Your Thinking’ published by ABC Books or for more personal support, book in with me and we’ll face it together.

One other thing: I’ve been doing the blogging thing for about 6 months now and I would love to keep doing it and would love it to grow and grow and grow so if you do like it can you please  A) subscribe and B) recommend it to you everyone you know (especially people in high places in the media!)

Thanks, hugs and smiles
Jo

You can have what you want if you are tenacious.
You can be what you want if you commit to thinking the thoughts that will make you that way.
You can do what you want if you follow the right path. 

OR you can just stay exactly as you are; not growing or changing, not learning or risking, not engaging or exploring, not loving or sharing.

This may seem easier (and safer) but it’s probably not going to make you smile much and honestly, your life should be worth smiling about. 
So, be courageous and go for the lot.
Teeny weeny steps is all it takes to start. 
Remember that every person you admire took baby steps to achieve great things. 
Small steps, good strong positive tenacious thoughts AND, of course regular exercise and good nutrition.
Everyday.

Go forth with confidence my friend, you’ll feel your smile instantly widen.

Want to slow down your ageing process?
Me too, I can’t possibly fit in everything I want to do in 40 or so years.

Alas, I have a plan and I’m happy to report it’s working!

It’s a simple thing really, nothing miraculous or new.
I’m not a modern genius with a grand discovery nor am I going to tell you about some magic pill, cream or tonic.

It’s all about how you live each day.
It’s all about exercising regularly, eating nutritiously, getting enough sleep, thinking good things, drinking water, being grateful, being generous, being kind, being tolerant, seeking the good, connecting with people, making an effort, having a ball, accepting hardship, asking for a hug, learning new stuff, truly relaxing and loving thyself  – wholeheartedly. 

Now, I appreciate that you have probably read or heard this before but are you actually doing any of it?

Knowing this stuff will not help you one iota my friend.
The proof and indeed the reward is in the doing.

That’s what my job is all about.
Helping people to do what they know they need to do.
On a deeper level my job is to move them from a ’should’ mind set to a ‘want‘ mind set – permanently. 

Your job is merely to know where your mind is set and if it needs shifting do something about that.
Support is always a good idea if you’re track record at behavioural change is poor. 
Health Coaching with Jo Woods is always an option!

The Nutshell:
Slowing down the ageing process requires self care on all levels.
This doesn’t mean you need to have less fun, on the contrary, you’ll most likely have more because you’ll feel better, happier – more youthful. 

Carpe diem!

Are you thinking you could or are you thinking you will?
Are you thinking I can’t or are you thinking I can?
Are you thinking it’s a long shot or are you thinking it’s within reach?
Are you thinking it won’t work or are you thinking it will?
Are you thinking the answer will be no or are you thinking it will be yes?
Are you thinking you the worst or are you thinking you the best?
Are you thinking failure or are you thinking success?

Are you thinking good things?

If not, I highly recommend you do because you’ll be more likely to achieve outcomes you’re wanting and you’ll enjoy the process of getting there so much more too.

Need a ‘postivity make-over’?
Check out the book called ‘Positivity’ in the ‘Smiler’s Amazon carousel – it will help OR I can !

If you’re a procrastinator, a worrier, a put-it-off-er-er, a lazy bones, a maybe-it’ll-just happen type of person then from time to time you probably need a jolly good kick in the pants and the best person to do that is YOU!

Here, let me help.
I say that because in a round about sort of way this is my job – teaching you how to kick yourself in the pants – it’s called self care.
My job is to help you see that you have what it takes to face the music and rise to the challenge AND what’s more that THE EFFORT WILL PRODUCE GREAT OUTCOMES .

When you make that phone call or do that task you’ll feel more confident.
When you choose not to feed your anxieties with choccy, chips, cheese or plonk you’ll feel stronger.
When you air your concerns you’ll feel lighter.
When you prioritise your exercise you’ll feel capable and clear.

THE NUTSHELL:
When you put your health & well-being first you’ll have the ability to hold the course to your dreams because self care IS believing in them.

Give yourself a kick in the pants today OR book in with me and I’ll do it for you – ever so gently of course!

Smiler’s Snippets are short punchy grabs I select from books which aim to enhance your health and happiness.

This is a snippet from Andrew Zuckerman’s fabulous book, ‘Wisdom’. Here I read a snippet from Graeme Nash’s page about keeping things in perspective. If you’d like a copy of the book just go to Smiler’s Amazon, just to the right and click on the book cover, that will take you straight through to Amazon.

If you feel you need a hand getting things in to perspective you can email me jo@urbansmiler.com or ring me on 0412 329 511. Click play now.

If you can’t see the clip click here

Here’s a list of virtues I believe cultivate the life of a ’Smiler’.
May you cultivate such a life yourself and may you always look as happy as the two friends above!
  

1. Exercise. Do something everyday to maintain physical strength, mental clarity and a positive spirit and notice how much more you smile!  

2. Eat Well. Enjoy a balanced diet, no restrictions. Everything in moderation is the best approach, life is too short to miss out on things that make you smile. 

3. Think Good Things. A Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) is essential to being a Smiler. Apply it to everything and everyone. Life is full of inconveniences and disappointments BUT it’s also full of opportunities and blessings. It’s all in your attitude …are you a Frowner or a Smiler? 

4. Discover P & M. Everything you do has a purpose, when you determine the purpose of a task it will automatically add meaning. For instance, the purpose of having a workout is to maintain your health which is what enables you to do, have and be all that you want which is what keeps you smiling. On a more mundane level, the purpose of domestic duties is to keep everything clean and in its place which means a more enjoyable and relaxing place for everyone living there. Harmony at home is a wonderful thing. 

5. Be a Realist: There are no quick fixes to health, wealth, weight losss or happiness. Don’t get sucked in – it’s almost a given that you’ll end up in worse condition than when you started – particularly mentally and emotionally. These things are all step by step, day by day projects which require equal measures of focus, persistence and PMA accompanied by a pocket full of smiles!  

6. Accountability. Looking for excuses and reasons as to why things aren’t as they ‘could/should’ be?  Look inside not out, that’s where the answers are. Do this and I promise you’ll smile more. 

7.  Health.  Your health – mental, physical and emotional - is your number 1 priority. Without it you’re no good to anyone or anything. Invest in it daily and you’ll smile more, inside and out. 

8. The 3 R’s  
Relationships. Manage them with love, tolerance and compassion. Everyone has flaws, you can either frown at them or smile at them. 
Relaxation:  Learn what it feels like to really relax. Sit quietly and just breath, it’s more enjyable than you think and more rewarding than you can imagine. It makes you smile on the inside.
Read:  Keep your mind active – read often and learn stuff. Your brain will smile more. 

9. Nurture yourself
Too many people make the mistake of relying on their partner, family and friends to meet all their needs. This is nor reasonable or wise. Firstly because it’s not their job and secondly because your self esteem needs you to do it; self reliance = self confidence = self esteem=self care etc…You need to learn how to meet your own needs, nurture your own dreams and to genereally make yourself smile, inside and out.  

10. Smile.  It seems that the older we get the more serious we become. Of course there are more responsibilities and life does get a bit more complicated as we get older but that should not stop us from smiling (see #4). Do things which make you smile and laugh, hang out with people who make you smile and laugh and when neither seems accessible take a moment to reflect on all the times you’ve had which made you smile or laugh your head off.   

Want to implement some of this stuff? That’s what I do – I cultivate Smilers! 
Email me anytime:  jo@urbansmiler.com 

To keep your mind smiling you need to keep exploring.
To keep your mind exploring you need to keep yourself physically well.
To keep yourself physically well you need a mind which highly values self care.
Self care = self esteem and and vice versa. This provides the self confidence required to ’explore’.  

Self Care for the Mind:
Read widely. Books (fiction & non), mags, journals, reports, comics, blogs. Read something everyday. 
Watch a variety of TV shows, docos, movies.
Talk to all sorts of wierd and wonderful people. Appreciate their differences.
Do a course, study something. Keep learning and providing your brain with new information to sort through. 
Take time out every week to reflect. Learn from your mistakes, be grateful for all you have and stay focused on what you’re working towards.
Take time out every week just to think. Explore your ideas and the ideas of others, it will enliven you.
Manage your worries by talking to your ’confidant’ – a stable friend/family member, counsellor, therapist. It’s often better to lean on an indepnadant mentor who is not involved in your life and therefore has no particular investment in any particular outcome.   
Be open to the diversity life offers and be mindful of the fact that it would be remarkably dull without it. 

Self care for the body. 
Make exercise a part of your day. It’s essential NOT optional.
Do a variety of exercises which keep your body strong and flexible as well as ones which keep your heart and lungs healthy.
Eat well everyday. Eat appropriately portioned nutritional foods MOST of the time.
Sleep. Don’t underestimate the importance of sleeping well, it restores and rejuvenates your entire being.
Hydrate. Drinks lots of water everyday. 
Touch. Enjoy a big warm hug or have a massage. Your mind will benefit immensely from it.

Explore and smile.
It’s a wonderful life we have here, you gotta love it warts and all!

One of the best ways to cultivate happiness is to ‘think good things’ about yourself and your life. I’m a devoted practitioner of ‘daily reflection time’ and am proud to say that the end of every day I always identify ‘my top 3 smilers’ (3 things that made me smile that day) then at the end of every week I do a summary of them all. It takes no more than a couple of minutes but the boost it gives me lasts for ages. I either do it while I’m driving, when I’m in the shower or when I’m cosily tucked in to bed at night. I can’t recommend it enough.

Please don’t get the wrong impression of me, I’m not in ‘happiness la-la land’ – I have my share of challenges to face but I’m able to face them with courage and confidence knowing that there is also plenty of good in my life.

Here are my top 5 smilers for this week.

1. Snorkling with Bobby and our kids. (family time)
This was a hugely rewarding experience for me. After 6 years as a single parent it was wonderful to do something ‘as a family’ (albeit a blended one)

2. Feedback from my appearance on A Current Affair (professional acknowledgement)
I received so many phone calls, emails and messages from people who had either watched or heard about my Pantry make-over segment on A Current Affair last week. It was wonderful. Thanks to everyone who got in touch to congratulate, encourage and praise me for my first television appearance.

3. ‘Health Coaching’ enquiry from Urban Smiler  (business)
I’ve only had my ‘Health Coaching’ page up on this site for a couple of months and this week I received my very first enquiry from it. I’d love to receive more so please, spread the word!     

4. Dinner at the Point Leo Boat Club (social/community connection)
After a perfect day on the beach we (Bobby, kids, family & friends) wandered up to the club house and threw together a delicious BBQ dinner. Social and relaxing, it was an ideal end to the day. 

5. 2009 Reflection (self care)
I spent time in the bath this week just reflecting back on 2009 and I concluded that overall I had a a sensational year. I achieved most of the things I set out to achieve and I fell in love. What more?

What would your top 5 smilers be for this week?